Saturday, November 15, 2008
Crossroad...It really where I'm standing. I have never experienced this before. The friendship of 2 guys is at the verge of breaking because of me.One of you is really an ideal guy of any girl. So kind, gentle and caring. I know that very well. But from the beginning, I always treat you as a close friend. And may be the way I treat my friends is different from yours, therefor you might have misunderstood my intention. To me, that's how I treat my friends, but to you... Haizz, I have no intention to hurt you or whatsoever. And another you, you came 1st. But when we were together, we had so much problems. And I did not love you whole-hearted. So I asked for a break up thinking I couldn't love you. However, things changed. The relationship got better when we split and that's when he confessed to me.I was so confused. I treat him as a close friend and you also asked me to patch up. Both of you are good friends for 7 years. I did not know what to do. At least one person is going to be sad. And I chose to follow my heart. I chose you. It was not an easy decision at all, standing between 2 person. But people are blaming me for not being clear of my feelings, and gave him the wrong idea, he was hurt. But did they thought of my feelings? at that time when I break up with you, I did really felt that way. Otherwise, why would I have done that? for fun? And we both only realized our feelings only after that. And he confessed, but I don't love him. So what you people want me to do? Love him back because he would be hurt??? And at the same time, you guys tell me to follow my heart and be strong??? So what do you people want????The first time, I was blame for what I did. And now, when I followed my heart, I'm also blame again... and I'm so lost of what to do...You came first, but why people are making it look like you came 2nd and snatch me from him..Could anyone understand my feelings???